Judging People is an epidemic...
I asked people to give me some topics to write about and my friend Cindy gave me an amazing one. She told me to write about people judging others based on opinions and not facts. As she knows, I have experience with this. I had a tough time a few years back and it still comes up and things are still being said.
The Back Story of my situation:
I was in college from 2008-2013, I joined a sorority my very first semester. I loved the few members that I had met and thought it would be great. Of course I won't get along with everyone, mainly because we are all so different, but I could handle that and be civil and be sisters. Things progressed and grades, parties and drama came into play. I questioned some decisions that were being made and got some people upset. That didn't effect me too much, I had been one of the few people to ever get dues from sisters, keep advisor and dean up to date and to help get any and all supplies we need. It was when I became president that things got worse. I was the only one with grades at one point and very involved with the Dean to keep us on campus. I was updating all our binders, making sure everyone was learning what the school expected of us and a whole lot more. Then I was called into the Dean's office. This is always a 50/50 situation. This time it landed on the bad 50%. I was given an ultimatium.
We had to either make me the only active member, with voting rights and holding office, or we were going to be kicked off. This also inculded mandatory study groups due to grades. I sadly had to bring this up at our next meeting and of course it didn't go over well. They were pissed, one wasn't even in school and all the rest didn't make grades, to say the least. They thought I was purpously taking over because I always wanted to be in control of everything. This is not what I wanted. I wanted us to stay on campus and better ourselves. I wanted us to actually all make grades for once. I wanted ones who were not in school to still come to meetings, but realize they didn't have voting rights. They could voice their opinion, I didn't mind.
This led to going behind my back and making decions without me, which were all against me and what the Dean wanted. Right as soon as I found out I dropped my greeks, called Amy(alumni) and had her come get every bit of sorority items I had stored there and emailed her all of the files I had. I washed my hands of the situation. I couldn't handle the pettiness any longer. This caused a huge problem though because I contacted the Dean the next day and told him. I know they didn't last on campus much longer and I don't keep up so I don't know anything else that they do.
The aftermath:
I found out that people were being told that I destroyed papers, other items and badmouthing the sorority. What they didn't care to know was that since I dropped my greeks, I helped thier alumni get an advisor for them, helped get girls to rush a sorority and not once did I bad mouth them to any perspective member. I still spent time with our "brothers" (my husband is an alumni of them) and I even gave advice to other people. I never once destroyed anything. I wouldn't do that. I still loved the sorority, I just couldn't be in school and not be active since I was only one with grades. I am still great friends with some alumni and still hear things that are being said about me from time to time.
I want people to know this. If you hear something about a person, please ask that person if it is true, otherwise don't believe it. You could be passing judgement on someone you don't even know just because someone didn't like them and told you something. Don't judge. Be nice. Learn who that person is from them and don't spread rumors.
Side Note: I am still with my husband, just had a daughter in Nov. 2014. I have a home, a degree, my husband is moving up in his job quickly and you know what? I am happy. I have no problems that I can't overcome and need no one to validate myself. I am a strong women. Thank you for reading this and I hope if you ever want to talk to me, you will send me a message.